Hello! First things first, I’ve been MIA for like two whole months now; I’ve been pretty much absent on social media since March, which basically never happens, not to mention I’ve pretty much abandoned this little blog that holds such a special place in my heart, and I’m so sorry, but the past two months have left me feeling completely drained creatively and I promise I’m back! Since I’ve posted last, a lot has happened! I’ve chopped my hair, booked a vacation, and had a run with some bad luck too! Let me fill you in on what I’ve been up to and of course, what I’ve learned!
Having Bad Luck, Doesn’t Make You Unlucky
Okay, so I’ve had some bad luck lately, such bad luck that I’ve accused the universe, on multiple occasions, of dealing me an unfair set! In the past two months, I’ve had my wisdom teeth out, had Subaru roadside assistance out twice, once for a flat and once when a car wouldn’t start, oh I got rear ended too, and then my car was very badly damaged in the hail storm…like $7,000 worth of damage! Everything is fine, that’s why we pay for things like car insurance, but oh my god it has been so stressful. Imagine walking out to go to work and finding your car not only undrivable, but basically looking vandalized from all the cracks, broken glass, and large golf ball sized dents. I’ve spent what feels like 30 days on the phone with different insurance companies, assessors, body shops, and have received mountains of paperwork and it’s just been a lot to deal with, especially considering that recently I decided to take on a second job, which I’ll get to! Anyway, we can all thank Darren for making me realize that having bad luck, doesn’t make you unlucky. I think I’ve mentioned before that it’s always the really small insignificant stuff that makes me crack, and one night I called Darren up and I was sad about my dad being sick, and mad about my car being damaged, and stressed from working two jobs, and I found myself getting teary eyed telling him a pair of shoes I ordered didn’t fit…I know! I wasn’t really upset about the shoes, I was just upset and that was the last straw! Darren gave me a pep talk and made me realize I need to focus on things I can control and not look for the negatives, but rather find the good in all things, and exchange the shoes for a smaller size.
Anyway, I don’t know if it’s Darren’s sweet pep talk, the increased sunshine, or the fact that vacation is a few days away, but I’m feeling more creative, I’m finding the positive, and I’m looking at things as fixable rather than broken!
It’s Okay To Say No, And Dreams Are Sometimes Just That
Okay, so I’ve been completely and totally exhausted at both my jobs recently, and honestly it’s because I say yes to literally everything. “Stephanie can you have this article ready in a day instead of a week?” “Yes!” “Stephanie can you stay late, come in early, and train more people?” “Yes!” Don’t get me wrong, I love both of my jobs and more than anything I want to be the best at everything. But, the thing that I’m realizing is that it’s okay to admit when you’re at full capacity. It’s okay to say no! I need to get better at admitting that it is possible to be stretched too thin, and admittedly I have a lot going on right now, I started a new writing job, I’m thinking about grad school, and I’m getting to a point where I’m nearing the next promotion at my long time job, and honestly I don’t know which thing is going to lead to more, they all feel equally important right now, and so I treat them all as such, but sometimes I need to say, “My work load is actually pretty full right now!”
Let’s talk about the writing thing. I love to write. Obviously. The thing is, is being forced to write, it takes something away from it, not to mention forced creativity often times feels forced too. I feel bad that writing for a website has taken away from the writing that I love to do, the writing that happens here, but by the time I try to write something creative here, I’m too tired, or can only think of celebrities and pop culture, and blah! Don’t get me wrong it’s a great opportunity, but I’m weighing the pros and cons, and the thing I know for sure lately is that whatever it means, I’m choosing me. Do I make any money blogging? No, not at all, whereas I do make money writing for a website, but the happiness that writing for my blog brings me is priceless. Do I have to choose one over the other? I hope not! This one is to be continued for now…
Looking Good And Feeling Good Comes From Within
I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately. I think that’s pretty much what I’ve been describing in everything I’ve learned. My hair felt too long, I never wanted to style it, so I took control and cut it off (pictures coming soon, promise). I didn’t think the food I was eating made me look or feel myself, so I changed my diet, I went from settling for takeout, to cooking real, whole foods, and while I struggled to curb the french fry cravings for the first few weeks, I’ve started craving things like watermelon, or crunchy sliced yellow peppers over potato chips; let me be really clear, my objective was not to loose weight, but rather to gain something from my food other than greasy skin and a bloated belly. I’ve been roasting veggies, drinking smoothies, even trying some vegan meals! My skin looks more radiant, I feel happier, and fuller, and consequently have gotten a little more toned just by adjusting my diet (I did lose 5 pounds, but again that wasn’t the point). Darren, a workout junkie, always says, “abs are made in the kitchen not the gym.” Another thing I did was give up my evening rosé cider! I’ve skipped out on an evening cocktail for about six weeks and I sleep better, am more hydrated, and feel better overall! It’s not to say I’m not going to have a piña colada on vacation, I definitely am, but I was tired of poor night sleeps from too much sugar before bed, and from dull looking skin from lack of hydration, so again I took control. I think that’s the whole point! I’m trying to better control my actions and reactions, because not every part of life is controllable, so do what you can to make yourself feel good!
Thanks for reading this little life update, and sorry again that I’ve been MIA lately, but I’m too excited to tell you that on Friday I start a vacation from both jobs, and on Saturday Darren and I are heading to the city for a preplanned day of photos and fun, and Sunday we set sail for Bermuda. I’m thinking of posting a vacation beauty essential post before we go, and maybe a vacation outfit photo or two (I did a lot of shopping recently), and definitely a post about Bermuda once I’m back! Nothing like salt water, mojitos, and sunshine to get the creative juices flowing!