I’ve had a plan to interview Darren for the blog for a really long time; I always get such sweet feedback whenever I write about us and our love story and I wanted you guys to meet him, but on his terms, and in his words.
Recently, I was listening to a Podcast where they talked about the New York Times and an article about questions that lead to love and a study where they tried to create intimacy in strangers and in couples by asking intimate questions and I decided to ask Darren a few for you guys to get to know him better and so I could too; don’t worry we didn’t do all 36, only a select few from the list that I didn’t think I had ever asked him before! Read on to see his answers and to fall in love with him too!
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
Darren: “Babe, can I tell you when I ordered your Starbucks today that I had looked at this text message like three times and still had my phone open on my lap to make sure I ordered it correctly.”
Stephanie: “I am so guilty of that. I get nervous before I call to order a pizza. I’m like so anxious about this. I just have to get it right.”
Darren: “I can definitely say I used to do it, it’s different when you’re ordering something though because you want to get it right. It’s the same thing, we can know exactly what we want from Armadillo, but when I order it I still have the menu open and point at the one that I want as I say it.”
What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
Darren: “I don’t know,”
Stephanie: “Like start to finish, a day that at the end you would think ‘that was a good day.’ For me, it would be to sleep in, to take my time getting ready, to do something with my hair, to relax and do my makeup, for it to be a nice fall day and to have a pretty drive to get to you, go apple picking with you, then by the evening no makeup on, sweatpants, and to be sitting next to you sharing a pizza”
Darren: “Oh, okay. How about as opposed to the perfect day start to finish a checklist of what I would want in a good day?
Darren: “Gym, motorcycle, nice weather, warm, warmer than fall so like 70s-80s, and then maybe a dinner date and cuddles with you.”
Stephanie: “A dinner date and cuddles, I can respect that. Dog time?”
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
Darren: “Uh. Probably the same time. Mac Miller on the way home from the movies with you, yeah. The last time I sang to myself though?
Stephanie: “The other day in the hospital a nurse was singing ‘You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…’ and I couldn’t help but sing with her.”
Darren: “The last time I sang to myself though?”
Stephanie: “You don’t ever sing alone in the car? I do that every single day.”
Darren: “I usually mouth the words, not sing them, I would rather listen; I’m not the musical talent.”
Stephanie: “Oh, I am the performance.”
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
Darren: “Probably doing something stupid.”
Stephanie: “Wow, that’s reassuring, I thought you would say old age! For me, I literally can’t picture being old. Is that weird? Does that mean I’ll die young?”
Darren: “Well on this Podcast, one thing you realize with people who are older is how drastically, things are so different for a 50 year old, to look 30 years in the future, we don’t know what the future will be like, or what we’ll be like.”
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Darren: “We love each other, love dogs, and love food. What’s your answer?”
Stephanie: “I was thinking more like characteristics, we are both competitive to a certain extent, we try to be thoughtful and caring, and tend to have a similar idea of what’s important to us and what we want the rest of our life to look like and we don’t want to settle.”
For what in your life do you feel most grateful
Darren: “It’s super bland and cliché, but everything. The idea that I can come here and hang out with you, that I get to go to work, there’s no super major stressful thing in my life that I have to deal with, I’m just here to love and support you.”
Stephanie: “Same. I feel most grateful that up until the age of 24 and 11/12 nothing bad ever happened to me, I had no major tragedy.”
Darren: “My silver spoon has fed me good for 26 years so far.”
Stephanie: “Exactly, up until this point I had never even been to a funeral, all of that bad stuff was on the outside, which maybe was preparing me for, the universe, for all of this, or maybe to make me realize what good and bad really was, or to make me appreciate the good more.”
Darren: “I can’t imagine that anyone in history had a slow incline of just good stuff happening all the time.”
Stephanie: “I listened to this Podcast where this guy was talking about how he didn’t actively do anything in his life to get to where he got, he felt like his whole life he was sitting in the back of someone else’s pick up truck and he kind of saw everything just happening to him, and I feel like that about the beginning of my life.”
Sorry to cut in guys, but I literally recorded our interview so that I could write this up, but the recording cut out after a little over ten minutes, so the rest won’t be dialogue, but instead a little summary of what we were talking about, as I did also take notes during the conversation!
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Here, Darren basically talked about the mentality that his parents, or even bosses he’s had, would tell him to do something and the reason behind it would be, “because I said so,” and how that never seemed like a good reason to him, and how it kind of did the opposite of encouraging someone to ask questions, or think critically, and how much he didn’t like that.
For me, I wouldn’t change a single thing about my childhood, I literally had the most perfect childhood, in the perfect house, with the perfect parents, but I would change how they explained certain things to me.
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Darren talked about how he would want to be more disciplined and about how he’s been thinking about competing in a body building competition, but questions whether or not he really wants to, or makes excuses about his diet, or not having time. I asked him if he thought it was a fear of failure and he said yes.
For me, I wish someone could wrap up self confidence and give it to me as a Christmas present. I wish I didn’t always wonder what people thought of me, or felt the need to compare myself to other people.
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
Honestly, I thought about not asking Darren this one because I felt as though I already knew the answer. Darren said he really wouldn’t want to know because he thought seeing the future could change it, maybe if you saw yourself happy and successful you would get too comfortable in that and not try as hard to get those things.
For me, I would love to just see a photo of myself 10 years from now, on Christmas morning, I would want to know who’s around me, and see what my Christmas tree looks like.
What is your most treasured memory?
For me, I think a lot about childhood memories, walking up the street to buy a Christmas tree with my dad and brother from the truck driver next door, carrying it home and decorating it a few days later, riding on hay rides at the firehouse for Halloween, when I think about memories that feel that magical as an adult, I think about a tradition Darren and I have, where every year, before Christmas we go out to dinner and then Darren drives us to a house with the craziest Christmas lights, and usually we drive through more than once.
Darren said anything that’s a tradition is a treasure for him, he talked about the tradition of us going to the city every year before Christmas, drinking hot drinks, walking in the cold, window shopping, and seeing the tree.
Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
Darren said that I am hard working, caring, silly and good at being funny and telling stories, and that I am so family oriented. He said my best trait is how hard working I am, because no matter what I do I put my absolute best into it.
I told Darren that he is so charismatic and that I envy so much that he has an off switch. When Darren leaves work, he doesn’t obsess about his day, whereas I am always thinking about what I could do better or differently. Likewise, I told Darren that he is assertive when it comes to knowing what he wants, deserves, and is very upfront.
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
Darren said he doesn’t really get embarrassed!
I, of course, told him the story about being at my locker in high school and reaching for my French textbook when my pants ripped down the back!
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
Darren told me that in his dresser he has a book that his grandmother had made for him when he was little. It’s a Power Rangers book and is customized to fit Darren perfectly. Darren said it had the wrong last name on it, because him and his grandmother have different last names, but that seemed to make it all the more special.
I told Darren about a velvet box in my nightstand that has a pearl necklace, and antique locket that my grandmother gave me; inside, is also a ring that my parents gave me this past Christmas that was a family heirloom.
Darren and I had so much fun doing this and admittedly I didn’t think it would make us feel closer, as we’ve been together for more than four years and have spent so much time talking and getting to know everything about the other person, but it was really interesting and fun to kind of formally ask some thought provoking questions and I think we both did feel closer after and ended up giving each other a big hug and cuddle once we were through. I think it made us take the time to really sit down and have a conversation with no distractions and to really listen to the other person as they tried to maneuver and interpret the questions at hand. Hope you enjoyed the read and let me know if you try out the questions sometime with your special someone!