I feel like I’ve been sporadically giving you guys life updates, and a few exciting things have happened recently that I wanted to keep you up to date on…
I Got into Grad School Even though I thought I Wouldn’t
First things first, I got into grad school! I can’t actually describe my anticipation when seeing that SUNY New Paltz had emailed me a decision. I stared at the e-mail, weighed the pros and cons of opening my attached letter, and in a moment knew how badly I wanted to get in, and I did, and I’m smiling from ear to ear because I feel so validated and for the first time in oh so long. To be truthful, I’ve been in a bit of a rut, I’ve been at my current job for nearly six years, way longer than I ever anticipated to spend there, and while I do genuinely enjoy a lot of the time I spend there, I’ve felt stuck for a while. I’ve been in my current position there for about two and a half years and I’m starting to feel stagnant. Not only that, but when I’ve applied for jobs related to my English degree, I hadn’t gotten so much as a rejection e-mail or even a call back, which is so disheartening, especially with the time that goes into applying. SO, this good news is timely and much needed! I couldn’t be more excited to be starting graduate school and really hope it leads me to my dream job, maybe even my own business, not to mention it was such an incredible moment to get to tell my dad!
Again, I can’t even express my relief and happiness that my application has led to this result, but what I really wanted to tell you is how I didn’t think I’d get in. I studied and studied for the GRE this fall, and literally fell one point short of the minimum requirement, but somehow, whether my essay or my letters of recommendation, or maybe my GPA from before, I did it, and it’s almost more special because I feel so undefined by that 299 that defined me so clearly a month ago. When I got my test score I cried to Darren on the phone and told him that it wasn’t worth even applying, and LOOK NOW! Now, I’m so happy I could cry.
Not Being “Too Busy” For My “Real” Life
In other news, it’s Christmas time, which means I’ve been oh so busy at work, and I’m exhausted and sometimes my right eye twitches when I close one day and open the next, but I’m trying my best to make time for some Christmas-y bits, and overall things that bring me joy, or things that contribute to my “real” life, you know the one that isn’t totally consumed by work and coffee, which this month actually included meeting up with someone who I was lucky enough to “meet” through blogging! So, if you need a reminder to say yes to something that you’re too busy for, go for it! You’ll never look back and wish you worked more hours, or spent less time with friends and family, I can guarantee it.
The other Christmas-y bit – I’ve been working so hard to get all my gift guides out in time for you guys to maybe utilize them if you’re stumped on what to get a loved one, and they are all here, I curated a guide for her, for him, and for mom, and I am obsessed with them. I think the pictures are some of the best I’ve ever done, and there’s glitter all over my house, but it was all worth it to get those shots. Please feel free to check them out!
I’m Telling Myself that Life isn’t Shit, though I’ve Just Cleaned it Up
Having a terminally ill parent is messy, there’s no way about it. I’ve stomached things I never thought I could. I’ve spent more time discussing someone else’s bathroom habits than I’ve ever even considered my own, something I thought wouldn’t happen to me until I had children. People say things like, “we’ve all got shit,” and the abso-fucking-lute truth about that is some of us literally deal with more of it than others.
So, my newest outlook on life? Knowing that my life isn’t shit, even if I’ve just stomached it, smelled it, or cleaned it up. Sure, life’s messy, but the messy moments make the good ones that much better, and life a little sweeter, despite simaltaneously being stinkier.