Father’s Day

It’s Father’s Day and I’ve got the Father’s Day blues because I don’t know how many more, if any more, Father’s Days we’ve got, me and you. People are posting pictures of dads at barbecues, and dads on wedding days during father-daughter dances, and everyone else’s dad seems happy and healthy and I don’t know…

I Thought You Were Gone

That morning, I thought you were gone. I thought that I’d never live through the 20th of September without thinking, the day my dad died. When mom called me, at 3 am, I thought for sure, this was the end. I called Darren sobbing, and drove myself to the hospital, crying and breathing hysteric breaths the…

Mother Mary

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.  There are days that my dad and I have everything in common, from our blue eyes, to the fact that he lost his father when he was young, and I am losing mine. My father…

One Last Christmas

When I was little, my mom would set up a Christmas village every year. In the dining room, on top of a table, I would find myself lost for hours looking at that little village. Tea light candles filled perfect Christmas houses, with perfect Christmas wreaths, and perfect Christmas people. There was a girl with…

The James J LeCain School Of Liberal Arts

Yesterday, I drove to the job that my dad retired from last year. I took all the same turns that he did for so many years. I passed the gas station where he would fill up his tank and the diner that my dad would stop at for a breakfast sandwich and a coffee on…

Fear and Falling

On Saturday, when my mom shook me awake, I didn’t have time to think, it was fight or flight, and I flew down the stairs before she finished saying that he had fallen. I don’t remember which stairs I skipped with my too long legs, or which ones groaned underneath my too big feet. As…

Remember

There’s something about a finite amount of time that makes you remember things you didn’t before, one moment you’re standing in a mall on an escalator watching a little girl tell her daddy that she loves him as you hold back tears and the next you’re remembering something from when you were five that you…

Perspective

Ab said Jim never wanted a daughter. When she found out that I was a girl, he was disappointed. He wanted another son. She said that when she brought me home from the hospital for the first time, he danced with me in his arms, that he didn’t do that with the boys. That every…

Having A Terminally Ill Parent

When I was little, Dad would look up at the sky on summer nights and would tell me, pink sky at night sailor’s delight, pink sky in morning sailors take warning. I remember having a diary when I was younger and writing it in the cover, and for whatever reason, I remember thinking that I…

Lincoln

“Miss LeCain, your Lincoln is waiting for you,” The service manager tells me that my car is beautiful, I smile and thank him, taking the key from him; he stumbles and gets his too big finger stuck in my key ring. I button my coat and walk out the door. I see the all too…